What on earth?
by Demons Of Doom
Summary: Polgara is all arendish, Silk is the head of the mafia, Barak wont stop crying about his broken nail and Hettar is the king of the Horse Rebellion.
1. Prolog

I would like to thank my two reviewers for taking the trouble of telling me what was wrong with my story. To be honest I really didn't put that much effort on these (please do have in mind that English is not my first language, so not putting "much effort on it" means horrible orthographic errors :P) I was bored, never thought someone would actually read it. But if you are, here are the first two chapters written correctly (I hope). I promise I will do better on the next chapters 

Oh and I don't own any of these characters…in case anyone thought I do.

Polgara is all arendish, Silk is the head of the mafia, Barak wont stop crying about his broken nail and Hettar is the king of the Horse Rebellion.

It was a wonderful sunny day. Belgarath sighed again and took his beloved in a fierce hug. She smiled and moan in comfort, half asleep half awake, as her husband scratched her human ears absently. The sun enter warmly trough the window of the tower and down the big bed they share, warming them even more.

The old man sighed again, wishing to stay like that forever.

A furious pounding on the door startle him and the desperate and broken cried that followed them shacked her wife awake completely.

- Belgarath! Oh, Belgarath!.-

Both of them stared at each other for a moment. And then they run to the window with fear clear on their faces.

Durnick was down there, howling the Sorcerer's name again with that terrible desperation. He was half naked, his nose and eyes red for the constant crying.

Fearing something has happened to her daughter, Belgarath run to the stairs, followed by Poledra.

What happened? Where is Polgara? Where is my daughter??- Belgarath howled in the smith's face, trying to shake him out of his hysteria.

She…she kicked me out!!.- Durnick said, hugging Belgarath, crying out loudly.- She kicked me out!!-

Once they were in the kitchen, Poledra sat next to Durnick. Belgarath, at first, had laughed unceremoniously at the news.

Now, what have you done?.-

Nothing!! We were sleeping and she stirred and the next thing I knew, I was out of the house, running for my life with a barking and howling wolf with a white lock hair behind me!! Look! She has bitten me.- The smith turn around to show them a huge hole on his pants.

Belgarath looked at him with a sly smile on his face.

Are we sure we were just sleeping?.-

YES!- Durnick yelled turning all red.

Poledra finally stand up, a stern look on her face.

I will go and check on her, to see whatever possessed her to such a violent act. No innocent has to be expulse from the pack.

Two hours latter Poledra return. She was pale, her eyes wide.

One thinks that one's daughter has gotten rabies.- She announced.


	2. Riva

Garion was passing back and forth nervously on the bathroom. No, he was not bathing as he as said his wife. He was hiding.

It has all started as a pleasant morning in the Rivan Kingdom. He had felt a huge wave of happiness that morning. He had looked at the ceiling and hope, glorious hope, had filled every part of his heart and soul.

And suddenly, his wife had talked to him.

Garion, I told you a thousand times: I do not want meat for breakfast When are you going to forbid the horrendous act of killing and eating cows.-

He was going to ignore her, as he normally did, but for some reason what her wife had said sounded stranger than the strange things she normally said.

He had looked up and saw a mini-minotaur sitting next to him on the bed, dressed as his wife, the seize of his wife…but not like his wife at all.

He had yelled and jumped off the bed, running to get his sword from below the mattress.

The ugly mini-minotaur had cried out in horror and run off the room, with Garion close behind.

Garion, what are you doing?! Guards, guards!!- It had yelled.

And it went from bad to worse. The guards had shown up and had luckily restrained him and kicked off his sword.

He had yelled at them, begging them to look, to acknowledge the horrendous best in the middle of the corridor, crying out its heart, mumbling something about its husband not loving it anymore.

But everyone insisted that the mini minotaur had been his wife for the last five years.

It cant be! It just cant be!!! Ce´Nedra a minotaur, I cant believe it!!- he said angrily.- Something weird has happened. something had turn her into that and brainwash all the kingdom into believing she has always been like that.-

For some reason, that seemed rational enough and he exited the bathroom and walk to his room…where IT was expecting him.

He couldn't enter before the mini-minotaur rushed past him and walked decidedly across the corridor.

CeNedra? Where…where are you going?-

I'm going to my mother's house, I wont take these…these… humanshit anymore.-

Garion was confused for a moment, and then remembered the way he had chased her, calling her monster and trying to snap her head off.

Are you mad at me?.-

No.- she said in a strangle voice.- You do hate me.- she said melodramatically, turning around sharply and walking straight to the exit.


	3. The Vale

I have received another review : Thank you! Well here is another chapter only for you: If there is something wrong with the grammar let me know so I can fix it! ;)

Garion was sad. His head ached and the mini-minotaur wouldn't stop talking and recriminating him about his brute and violent act of hate against her, who was so innocent, pretty and loved.

Finally they saw The Vale in the horizon. He spurred his horse, rather desperately and rode to Belgaraths tower.

The mini-minotaur bawled indignantly and run after him.

"Garion! Don't even dare let me talking alone!!"-

When they arrived at the tower, they were surprised to see all…or most, of their friends there, discussing angrily and pleading to Belgarath and Poledra for help.

Lelldorin was wearing glasses and had a book under his arm. He was talking calmly over the noise of the others, about the possibility of creating a law system in Arendia that would stop the unstoppable civil wars.

Mandorallen was begging them to allow him to stay at the tower, complaining that all the knights in Arendia were asking him to mount a horse and charged against an innocent fellow on another horse and impale him with a huge stick.

Barack was crying, saying that he was almost lynched at home after announcing that he was gay.

Belgarath had desperation written all over his face and seemed on the verge of tears.

Garion and Ce´Nedra stared at each other for a moment, and then they walked slowly to the group in astonished silence.

They walked to a miserable looking Durnik, who sat sadly on a rock with Poledra next to him, patting him reassuringly on the back. They didn't look surprise at seen a minotaur next to Garion, dressed like Ce´Nedra.

"You too, uh?" Asked Durnik sadly

"What is happing here?"

"We don't know" Poledra said, her eyes wide open. " Everyone is acting so weird. Lelldorin was banished from Arendia after saying Possible Cure for Civil Wars five times in the throne room. Mandorallen wants to stay in the vale, He is afraid even of his own shadow. Barack was almost killed for been the first homosexual chereck"

"And where is Aunt Pol?"

Durnik started crying again.

"She doesn't love me anymore"

Poledra patted him on the back.

"One's daughter is also acting strange. She talks funny, like arendish people and wont let anyone get into the cottage. When I got in...she was in no good condition"

"I don't give a damn in what condition she is in!" Belgarath roared, suddenly next to them "She is better at these…human crisis than I am. Lets go to the cottage and get her to help us with these mess"

When they arrived at the cottage, Poledra stopped the party.

"One thinks that one should go first" She said.

The others nodded their agreement and waited at a prudent distance from Polgara´s house.

Poledra walked in, open the door and disappeared. At first there was absolute silence. Then there was…more silence. Then there was screaming and cursing. Then silence… Then Barak pinched Garion´s ass, who yelled like a girl and ordered him to keep his hands to himself…and then Poledra dragged a furious looking Polgara out of the cottage.

"Fuc It, mother! Why don't you f:-)ck off and leave me alone!."

" Don't be nasty, Pol." Said Poledra calmly while twisting her daughters wrist in a Kun Fu manner that immobilized the other sorceress completely. "There are a few strange things happening and we need your help to resolve them. Its part of the task you freely accepted, so stop complaining"

"I didn't accept a shO.o t! I didn't firmed anything I quit I quit!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!."

"By the gods, stop it! " Howled Poledra at last twisting her arm even more. With a squealed Polgara obeyed.

The others walked to them. No one got close to Pol once Poledra let go off her arm. They all notice her unfocused and clouded eyes, the brightness of the white lock of her hair and the unsteadiness in which she stood. All of them except Belgarath of course.

"Pol, I do not know what the heck has gotten into you, but you have to pull yourself together" He said walking even closer. "Yes. Because I have to….uh…go somewhere else to do something of extreme, urgency and I…"

He couldn't finished his sentence before a blowing fist came right into his mouth, breaking a few teeth and sending him sprawling to the floor. He couldn't catch his breath before Polgara jumped on him.

"Thy hath killed my beloved Ontrose! You son of a bich! Di:-Dk head!"

Barak had tried to take her off, but he discovered with horror that he had broken his nail in the struggle That send him to a fit of crying. Mandorallen was to scared to even move and Lelldorin observed everything with contempt.

Finally Durnik and Belgarion took her off Belgarath. When they had dragged her off Polgara recovered her composure and she freed herself from their grasp. She adopted her regal attitude again and fixed her hair.

"I shall advised thee that I find these invasion of mine territory highly insulting I shall therefore inform thee all that I will turn thou into toads."

And with that she looked as she would actually do it, but Belgarath stood up, his hair a mess, his face full of bruises, his nose and mouth bleeding a bit.

"I will give you the trash of your life, young lady!" He growled, taking off the rope he used as a belt.

Then Ce´Nedra, the Mini-minotaur, bawled.

"You barbarian! You don't hit women!"

"Why not?!"

"Because its ill-mannered!."

"So is what she did to me!."

"She can do it! But you cant!"

"…I don't understand…"

"Grandfather…"

"Shut up. Garion. Ce´Nedra is saying something interesting"

"But Grandfather…"

"Garion! We just have had a lot of action. Nothing is going to happen in the next several chapters! We have to have long and boring dialogues now!"

"…Uh…Okey…If you think she is not going to throw that thing at you…"

"What are you…"

He couldn't finished his sentence before Polgara send him sprawling to the floor again; a huge twisted stick on top of him.

Lelldoriin looked at the unconscious Belgarath with clear distaste. He then fixed his not-dull-anymore-eyes on Polgara.

"You are drunk. These acts of violence are disgusting on men but in a women!" He shuddered.

"Hey! These is my women you are talking about!" Yelled a furious Durnik before slamming his fist into the young Arend´s face.

Mandorallen looked with horror at the unconscious body of Lelldorin and then he looked at Durnik. The half naked smith stared right back at him with his blood-shot eyes, with those black circles around them, with that scowl on his unkempt face.

The mimbrate yelled and fall to the floor in a fetal position, trembling.

"Wow and I thought we had problems." Garion said innocently.

" I beg your pardon?." Asked Ce´Nedra in her high pitched voice. Garion had hoped that her new cow's vocal cords would fix that problem. But it hadn't. " We have problems? WE have problems? No, Mr Lord of the West, YOU have problems!." She assured him, still yelling " I didn't chased you around the castle with a sword! I didn't called you monster! I didn't laughed at you in our nuptial weeding night!."

"Yes you did"

"You don't love me anymore.!" She moaned, looking at him with her huge and deep cow eyes. Her lower lip trembling.

Garion laughed at her, and took a little piece of paper out off one of his pockets and started writing on it.

_Dear list of strangest-and-stupidest-thing-I-ever-saw: _

_Aunt Pol and Durnik kissing in the kitchen's closet_

_Strange men on black horse_

_Silk_

_Owl bowing_

_Mini-minotaur sulking._

He was still giggling when Ce´Nedra bawled furiously and hit him on the bottom with her tiny horns…tiny and sharp horns.

Garion yelped and jumped away from her. He tried to apologize but Ce´Nedra shook her head and bawled to the skies, kicking the floor with one of her legs…and charged against him.

Garion cried out in horror and run.

They all stopped whatever stupidity they were doing when they heard a savage barking behind them followed by a sharp pain on their asses.

They all turned to Poledra, who was standing calmly in the middle of the group…a piece of each one's pants on her mouth.

"We have to calm down." She gasped spitting out the pieces of fabric. " Lets get into the cottage We will have a nice and relaxing cup of tea…"

"I want a beer." Belgarath announced

"I doth want a bottle of wine." Said Polgara in a heart-broken voice

"I want a divorce!" Ce´Nedra and Garion said in unison.

"I don't give a damn what you all want!!." Yelled Poledra, her eyes out of their sockets." All you will get is a cup of tea!!!! Get into the cottage!!."

They all hurried to the cottage.

"Now." Said Poledra with a cup of steaming tea on her hands. "Lets get these all cleared out. Garion you awoke these morning and Ce´Nedra was looking…different."

"She is a minotaur! A freaking minotaur!" Howled the King of the West, pointing at the little beast.

"You didn't seemed to mind when you married me!" The source of his distressed said sarcastically.

Poledra barked and they both got still.

"Durnik you awoke and Pol kicked you out of the house."

"She did!." Durnik wailed in utter anguished before slamming his head on the table and then he started crying again.

Polgara stood, a bottle of wine in one hand, on unsteady feet

"I shall complained to thee about these absurdity!." She announced." For these perverted bastard hath entered to my bed chamber and my bed itself, unauthorized! Perchans hoping that, in my utter anguish and anger, I mayhap succumbed to his unholy and disgusting desires!."

"Why are you talking like that?!." Asked Belgarath, exasperated.

Polgara looked at him with cold eyes and then she turned to her mother.

"I hath to ask a favor of you, dear mother. Doth tell mine disgusting father that I wish not to talk to him. And that I shall never talked to him again. For he, and he only, hath killed with his cowardliness my beloved Ontrose. And therefore he hath broken my poor heart…"

"Who is Ontrose?! Who is she talkig about?!." Durnik demanded, his eyes seemed about to pop out of their sockets and his face was completely red.

"Calm down, Durnik….Pol is trapped in time, evidently." Said Poledra. And then she turned to the others." Barak…you discovered that you are gay…"

"And my people hates me!" He roared. "Intolerant bastards!"

"Don't worry, my friend." Lelldorin told him." We will fight together for these tolerance. We shall bleed and cry out our hearts until we reach peace tolerance and respect!."

"…Lelldorin is acting weird…and so is Mandorallen…"

Mandorallen couldn't give his opinion He had locked himself on the bathroom after a fly flew past him while he was drinking his tea.

" Something is happening!" Said Belgarath, pointing our the obvious. And slamming his fist on the table for emphasis. "And we have to fix it…GOD DAMN IT!!!."

There we have the new chapter I'm working on the next one. So if you all like these one I will posted it : 


	4. The Cottage

Yayyy!! More reviews Thank you both!  (happy face) Here is the new chapter I hope you like it.

" Argh!! All right stop it!" Belgarath roared standing up." Garion if you say "why me" one more time I swear over my death wife's grave…"

"I'm not dead"

"…that I will kill you!. Ce´Nedra please **pleeeaasseee **stop shrieking like that We are not going to Mc Aldur. Lelldorin, stop molesting Mandorallen right now!. Barak…Barak look at me when I'm talking to you!...At my face you perverted! Polgara your "what ifs" are driving me mad MAADDRRGGHHH!!."

Polgara looked away.

" Hath someone heart anything?…Its like the wing blowing is it not? Mother doth please ask the wind _what if _ it goes to hell!"

Poledra moaned.

"Cant everyone stop…?"

They, of course, didn't And they all started arguing again about what was happening, what they were going to do and who was going to get more ice-cream from the kitchen.

"_Garion"_

The so called Garion started. That damn voice!

" You again?! I have already burn the stupid building what do you want now?"

" _Uh? I didn't make you burn a building It was a grolim."_

" Im the one who made you burn the building!"

"Oh! Hello then! It has been a while since we talked How are you?"

" Fine, thanks for asking"

" No, not you. The other one"

" **Me?"**

" Who the hell are you?!"

" **I'm the one that makes you push people off the stairs**"

" Oh, hello!"

" _What the f…?"_

"Hey, watch your mouth Garion, burn the cottage"

" **No, push Ce´Nedra off the stairs first"**

" There aren't any stairs"

" **Oh.."**

" Why don't we burn her and the cottage?"

"That's a good idea!"

" _Okay that's enough! I'm Fate, I'm destined I'm the conscience of all that was is and will ever be (except on Saturdays. That's my day off) And I command all the other voices to go away!"_

" **Buuuu"**

"_GET OUT!""_

"**Oh fine, we are leaving"**

" Bye Garion, remember the fire"

" Bye I wont forget…"

" _Geez! __Okay, well…Belgarion…"_

" Who are you?"

" _By the gods! I'm THE voice, all right?!"_

"Oh, fine…Voice, what's going on? Aunt Pol and the rest unimportant people are acting very strange! What's happening?"

" _Something went wrong after Zandramas "death""_

" Oh come on!"

" _You have to get all the gang together and fix it"_

" Whyyyy..."

" _Don't say it!"_

"…not. I have nothing better to do anyway"

"_I know Now tell Belgarath what's happening so you can all get to work"_

"Why don't you tell him yourself?"

" _Because I cant stand him, Belgarion! Isn't it obvious?!"_

Garion sighed and turn to the other members of the group.

"Guess who is back?" He asked gravely.

" My hammer?" asked Belgarath, grinning.

" The brains of you all?" groaned Lelldorin.

" Hope?" murmured a sad-face Polgara, opening another bottle of wine

" Your senses?" shrieked Ce´Nedra.

"Uh…No…The Voice"

"Which voice?"

"Hide the matches!"

"No that voice. THE voice!"

All of them sighed…until they realized the significance of that sentence. Then they all yelled, cursed and Mandorallen even tried to run away, but a furious looking Belgarath dragged him back to the table.

"If I go trough this hell again I will make sure all of you live it with me!" He howled Then he looked at Garion. " Now what? We really have to find it a wife!"

"It says…"

"_You know, its very insulting to be called "It" "_

"How do you want me to call you then?"

"_She/he…yeah…that sound__s better…"_

"…Hum…Well, guys, She/he says that something went wrong. We have to get all the gang together and fix it….She/he also says that these is the Age of the Prophets 2, The Vengeance of the Sparrows"

Belgarath looked at him, his face stern, solemn…and then he wailed and cried desperately next to Durnik.

The smith raised his head from the soak wet table.

"My Pol!!!" He howled

"My rest!!" Howled his father-in-law Hugging each other, they cried together.

They all looked at them for a while. Then Ce´Nedra cow's eyes grew huge and her lower lip trembled.

" My Garion!!!" she bawled.

"My nail!!" Brack joined her

" My poor Arendia" Both Lelldorin and Mandorallen cried

" My Ontrose!!!"

Poledra howled.

Suddenly a hawk come crashing trough one of the windows and slammed beak-first into the wall, falling then to the floor ungracefully. The general hysteria ceased and they stared at the apparently death hawk as it turned to Beldin.

"Agh! Damn window!" He groaned, spitting pieces of glass while he stood up. Durnik came close to help him, but Beldin punched him on the stomach." Get away from me! Pol, you useless brat! I told you to keep the windows open!"

"Thou hath not"

"Well I'm doing it now!" He walked to them and pushed Belgarath off his chair, sitting on his place. He slammed his fist on the table" Where the fu:-Ock is my ale!?" He roared. He waited two seconds and then he snatched the bottle of wine from Polgara´s hand." Never mind these will do!" And he drank it all in one huge gulp, then he burped.

"Hello, brother dear…" Belgarath growled standing up and massaging his sore ass.

"Hello, cretin. Don't ask me where Vella is because I wont tell you!"

" She is roosting on the roof"

A collective "aawww" was heard.

"Shut it!" Beldin said, hitting Durnik on the face again. Mandorallen yelled like a girl and run off. " You know that these damn prophet deal hasn't finished yet…"

"How would you know?"

"I'm roosting on the roof with Vella, you retarded! I heard you yelling, screaming, howling and burping about it!"

"Okey, and what do you propose we do?"

"I.."

An ominous NO was heard. They all stared at Poledra.

"We have done it again.! All a damn chapter talking about explanations, events and course of actions! We have to stop!"

"But how? HHOOOWWW??!!!"

"I don't know!" Poledra said, her voice full of horror "I just don't know!!"

They all started yelling "hows" and "don't knows" at each other, their unfocused eyes raised at the ceiling, their hands open in despair. Then Polgara said:

"What if…"

"Don't start it again! We wont ask "what if" we wont ask "why me" we wont said "alors" and we wont blame the system We Are Going To MOVE. First we go to Algaria, and on the way the stupid prophet will appear"

"How would you know?"

"It's the way of wolves to know what others don't know!"

Suddenly Wolf appeared from under the table

" One wonders why one has told a lie to the men-thing. Its not the way of wolves, you just want some time alone with your lover on the woods"

Poledra scowled at him, and then she yelled and jumped on Mandorallens arms

" Aghhh!! There is wolf in the house!!"

Mandoralled yelled and threw her into Wolf and run off. Well he had run off before but…um,… he had come back to get his sword…which he had forgotten…which he wasn't afraid off…Damn! Do you really expect anything to make sense on these story?!

"One thinks you are all insane!" Growled Wolf, getting Poledra off him He then stand up in his two legs and walked to the door. There was a little girl with a red cape and an old women next to her." One will prove luck in Hollywood"

And then he was gone.

Polgara burped.

They will do move in next chapter I promise I'm writing the next one 


	5. The Vale again

More reviews :) Okey, so here is the next chapter. I never really thought I would come these far with these story, so I'm pretty much making it up as I go ...much like David Eddings himself. Inside joke (thumbs up)

I didn't knew that the reviews were only set for logged in users. My bad :P Now I took it off so everyone can review EVERYONE CAN REVIEW And after everyone has reviewed muehehehe…No one will….

What?

REVIEW

On with the show!

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"Okey, lets get moving, people" Said Belgarath, all business like. "Poledra, you come with me. You Belgarion will come too. The rest of you will stay in the cottage..."

"Wowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow...Wow..." Barak said. He gave one step closer He put his huge hands on his hips and favor one leg looking at Belgarath. " I'm not going to stay in the shadows. Your attitude is so sexist Isn't it right ladies?"

"Yeah." said CeNedra, shaking her head and puffing in anger.

"Sexist bastard!" yelled an extremely drunk Polgara while throwing the empty bottle of wine at her father, succeeding only in throwing it a few inches away and falling face first to the floor.

Durnik run to his wife and helped her to stand up, looking at Belgarath disapprovingly.

"I don't know what's happening I'm only a common smith, I'm a simple men and I don't know about magic, or huge things But I'm no coward, and I want to help the women I love."

A gentle wind caressed his fantastic short hair, his face stern and solemn in the moonlight. CeNedra and Barak sighed.

"He is such a dear" They both said

" Nanana He is such a dear..." Both Belgarath and Garion mocked them with distaste.

" I hate that men."

"Yeah, me too. Anyway These is not about sexism. You are all the ones that are wrong in the head, so you have to stay...It may be catching!"

" There is nothing wrong with me!" They all yelled indignantly in unison.

Belgarath, Poledra, Garion and Durnik stared at the group in front of them...they saw CeNedra the mini minotaur, Lelldorin with his book and glasses, Barak with painted lips and cheeks, Polgara puking in one corner and Mandorallen was a black peak in the horizon He had run off, terrorized by the sound of the ominous statement of the group.

The ones that were not "wrong in the head"...or whatever… shared glances.

"Right" They said.

" Hey, what about me?" Said Durnik. "There is really nothing wrong with me."

Belgarath sighed. He put a hand on one of the smith shoulders.

"Durnik, my boy…We all know that you are a repressed psycho. But that's okey, No one is judging you…"

" I am" Lelldorin said

"Me too"

"Yeah me too"

" Okey! We all are judging you. But we will always support you, as long as you take your pills."

"IM NO PSYCHO"

"Yes you are and you know it. C'mon , good men Durnik. No one can be so perfect and nice. If you come with us, you will likely explode like that Flanders guy did"

"But…But…"

They all stared at him with condescending smiles. The smith stared at them, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"How can you say that? You…you…" his face went all read and his eyes bulged out.

"Oh, my" Barak said, covering his mouth with one hand.

"He will explode!" shrieked Ce´Nedra.

"A REPRESED PSYCHO?!" Howled Durnik He pointed an accusing finger at a wide eyed Belgarath " YEESSS I'm a repressed psycho! I take seven different types of pills to keep myself under control But at least I haven't fuOuOked every women from Aloria to Mallorea and behind!" He then turned to Barak, his mouth frothing" You are the most repugnant, barbarian and wild beast I have even seen in my life. Impaling old blind women with lances makes you feel very brave doesn't it?!"

Baraks lower lip trembled and he started crying. The smith turned to Ce´Nedra

"You are the brat most bratty that I ever met in my life!. You Lelldorin are an idiot!. YOU…!"

He was going to insult Poledra too, but she shown him her teeth and he passed on to Garion.

" All the times I said I was your friend I LIED I was just using you as a part of a master plan to get married with your aunt And it worked IT WORKED" He started laughing evilly, frothing.

" I hath not married you" Said Polgara.

"I DON'T CARE" Howled Durnik. He took her wrist and throw her over his shoulder Then he started running away laughing hysterically.

They all watched his lunatic escape and then they stared at each other in absolute silence.

"I wont be staying behind" asserted Ce´Nedra stubbornly

When Durnik came back two hours later, the gang was still discussing the same stupid matter. The group went silent as they saw the smith lowering Polgara from his shoulder. He was staring at the floor under the surprised looked of all the others, Pol included.

"I'm sorry" He said." I will take my pills from now on"

Belgarath walked to him and patted him on the shoulder reassuringly.

"Good boy" He said proudly

After another hour of arguments, they all agreed to go together. Except for Mandorallen, who had pissed on himself after seeing his horse. They decided to live him with the twins

Now they were all staring at the twins...who were also looking…different

"Why would I want to keep a Solamnic knight in my tower?" Said one of them.

" A...what?" Asked Belgarath unable to take his eyes out of the thin, black robed bastard who had insulted them all in less than one minute.

"A solamnic knight Isn't it that what he is?"

" Hum…are you feeling sick, Belkira, brother? You are looking a bit…gold"

"I have always been like these." Belkira whispered in that rasping and week voice. His golden eyes glinted with malice.

"No...he wasn't always like that." Said a huge warrior next to him, clamped in armor, a stupid expression in his face and a white robe tided to his back like a cape They all assumed it was Beltira "It was in that accursed tower!"

"Shut up brother." Snapped Belkira, and he slapped him acrossed the face...well he tried because there was a sickening sound of broking bounds and the golden bastard stared at his broken hand in horror Then he shrieked and started crying. " No one loves me!! " He wailed in a heart broken voice. He turned around and walked back to the huge and black tower behind them

Beltira stared at them with hunted eyes, apparently unaware of what had just happened

"Hum...Will you keep an eye on him?" Said Garion, eyeing the huge warrior carefully

He smiled like a retarded when he noticed Mandorallen again

"I love solamnic knights!" He said

Barak made a noise...disturbingly similar to a purr. He posed

"Really? What about a Cherek warrior and dancer."

"No...but Belkira may" Answered Beltira He looked over his shoulder and then he moved closer to whisper." You see...he hasn't come out right and said it...but I think he is about to come out of the closet..."

" Look, I don't give a damn about your brother sexual tastes!" Screamed Belgarath " Mandorallen, go with these oaf so we can all go and fix these damn mess!"

Finally they were on the road. They rode in silence for a while. Until the sun popped out in the horizon.

"Okey, I'm starving!" Announced Belgarath." We are going to camp right now."

"There is a place to camp!" Durnik said.

"How the heck does he find places to camp so fast" Whispered Garion to his Grandfather, eyeing the smith with hostility.

Belgarath shrugged

" It must be a psycho thing"

"Oh"

Poledra slapped Belgarath on the head and CeNedra did the same to Garion...Barak slapped Lelldorin, and no it wasn't on the head...

"Hey!" Lelldorin yelped The Cherek purred and blinked at him.

Lelldorin spurred his horse away.

"We are going to scout the surroundings To make sure everything is all right." Said Belgarath and he went-wolf. The enwolfed sorcerer looked at Poledra and lolled his tongue out... then he grinned and winked at her, kicking the floor with one of his feet and howling.

Poledra smiled and went wolf too. They both run hurriedly into the woods.

"At last alone." Said Belgarath His tail waging furiously. He eyed with hunger the pretty wolf in front of him.

Poledra growled and walked to him seductively Belgarath mimicked her growled and moved to her with the secure and firm steps of a predator

"Lets play..." they both growled, their fierce golden eyes fixed on each other…

"Ufff At least I catch up with you!." They both jumped and turned around to see Garion-wolfed behind them, waging his tail, his tongue lolling out of his muzzle.

They both groaned. But then Belgarath noticed that Belgarion´s tail was glowing with a blue light.

"What's wrong with your tail?"

"Uh?" Garion stared at his glowing tail. "Uh, that's the Orb... I always make sure its in a safe place when I go somewhere"

"But.." Poledra started, then she cocked her head...then she winced and turned around." Respect customs, respect customs. Respect the customs of these disgusting and vile creatures of hell!!!"

In the camp Ce´Nedra and Barak started at the howled that was heard from the distance.

"Lady Barak" Said CeNedra, sitting next to him, who was inspecting his fingernails." Don't you sense something is wrong?"

"What do you mean, darling?"

" I don't know...They are all acting so strange...Our sorceress population I mean..."

He looked at her with a placid expression

" I still don't follow my darling."

" Don't you see? Belgarath, Garion, Durnik, Poledra, Polgara, they are all acting...weird!"

Barak looked over at Polgara

She was kneeled next to a casserole placed on the fire. She was swinging her upper body from left to right , a lunatic grin on her face while she sang:

" Two eyes of fish and two wings of bat, a tail of a cat and the legs of a rat and we have the result!" A green smoke puffed out of the casserole and she laughed evilly in a high pitched shrieked.

"She is always like that when she cooks"

" Well, but what about the other?"

" They are acting strange indeed...But maybe its the way of sorceress...to act weird."

CeNedra nodded, shaking her ears.

" I still something bad is about to happen"

Next chapter: Algaria-


	6. Algaria

And so the gang walked through the plains of Algaria

And so the gang walked through the plains of Algaria.

"Isn't it awfully quite?" Asked Lelldorin, who was looking around in search of the algar's cows and horses and humans and more horses.

"If you would just shut up it would be!!" Belgarath yelled at him, shaking awake from his slumber and falling back down to sleep.

Lelldorin looked at him with sour contentment

"Your simple mind can't comprehend how strange it is for such a huge and normally full of movement place to be so quiet."

"What part of shut up you don't understand?!" Garion yelled at him

They all looked at him, surprised.

"What?! Just grandfather can yell at everyone?!

"Yes" Poledra said simply "He is the leader of the pack."

Garion grumbled something under his breath.

"Why is he the leader of the pack" he wailed after a few minutes of silence "I killed Torak! I have the orb!. I should be the leader of the pack!"

"The pretty lady has a point" said Lady Barack, scratching his now beardless chin "Why are you the leader? Why is a male always the leader?! I find this all so...sexist!!"

Belgarath didn't answer. He was too busy snoring.

"I should be the leader" Asserted Ce'Nedra."· I have plenty of experience at handling big incursions and huge armies"

They all laughed at her. Ce'Nedra puffed in anger.

"Look, I have dealt with those retards for centuries" said a waving Polgara, trying to place her unfocused eyes on the Queen of the World and pointing at Lelldorin., the retiring the King of the Idiots who would of course be back on business when all of this was cleared out and fixed "So I should be the leader of thy all retards"

Poledra cleared her throat and Polgara looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Is there a problem, dearest mother?"

"I think you forget something, dear child"

"What may that be? Uh!?" Polgara got down of the horse belligerently, but fell face first on the mud.

Durnik yelped and went to help her.

"I AM the lead female" Poledra said vehemently

"Well, methinks that I'm most fully prepared to have mine own pack. And since this idiot" Polgara said after cleaning the mud out of her face while pointing at the snoring Belgarath contemptuously "made me abandoned my duchy I will imposed myself into his own pack."

She then proceeded to laugh evilly and Poledra bared her teeth and just jumped against her daughter, snarling. Both sorceresses started growling, barking and biting at each other like two infuriated dogs.

"Oh, my…!" Barak said, covering his painted lips with a hairy hand.

"Stop it!" CeNedra shouted alarmingly and then she nudged Garion sharply on his ribs

"Aw! What was that for?!"

"Do something!"

"But I'm enjoying this!"

Ce'Nedra looked around wildly and slapped Belgarath on the head.

"What are you doing?!" The old sorcerer said indignantly.

"Do something!" she said, pointing at Aunt Pol and Grandmother Poledra who were chewing on each other's legs.

Belgarath sighed brusquely and got down of his horse. Once on the floor he pulled his pants up and moved towards them. Then he picked Polgara and Poledra up from the neck and separated them.

"That's enough!!"

"She started it!!" Poledra wailed, pointing at her daughter accusingly

"I did not!"

"Yes you have!"

"No one cares who started it!!" Lelldorin shrieked "Look, everyone here knows that we don't stand each other so the faster we finish with this the faster we won't have to look at each other's faces anymore!"

They all thought about it for a moment and then nodded in agreement.

"I say we all vote to decide who the leader can be" Said Polgara suddenly

"Oh, god. WHY ME?!" Wailed Belgarath brokenly.

"Because you hid pornographic magazines under the master's bed" Poledra reminded him calmly

"That was 6000 years ago!!" He replied desperately "Do I still deserve this punishment?!"

Suddenly, in a puff of blue smoke, appeared Aldur in front of Belgarath's horse.

"Thou do" He said and disappeared again,

Belgarath sulked for the rest of the day.

_Two days later and a hundreds of curses later…_

"Hey, look! Horses" Barak said happily startling the shO.Oit out of everyone.

"Ohhh look horses! There are horses in the land of the horses!" Lelldorin sang mockingly, clapping his hands.

"Wow…sarcasm! The filthy asturian uses sarcasm! It seemeth to me that thou have brains after all"

"I'm not filthy"

They all laughed at him and now it was his time to sulk

.

"That's not a horse" Poledra pointed out suddenly "The thingy running in front of them is not another horse."

The herd of horses was running towards them…and in front of them there was a naked human running in all his four, whining idiotically. When he was close enough they all realized it was Hettar.

The Lord of the Horses stood in front of them. Ce'Nedra blushed…or she probably did below her dense pelt and Barak whistled approvingly.

"Halt!" Hettar ordered. "Dismount, now!"

They all stared at him and dismounted hurriedly.

"Slavery is forbidden in this land!" the naked Algar informed them. "I will have to take you all under custody for practising slavery on this realm"

"WHAT?!" Belgarath shouted his face red in both anger and envy at what he was seeing below the algar's waist. He walked angrily to Hettar "Under custody?! Do you have any idea to whom you are talking to?!"

Hettar pinched Belgarath's eyes with his long slender middle fingers in a fluid motion. The old sorcerer backed away screaming and cursing in several languages at the same time.

"Betrayal!!" Garion howled, taking his sword out of its sheath. Everyone heard a heart-shaking "Yeyyy" as the Orb exploded into a blinding flash of blue light.

"Watch out!" A horse suddenly yelled "Protect the leader!"

Garion's horse looked around wildly and finally jumped on top of the wide eyed Garion, smashing the God Slayer flat into the grass.

Poledra turned into a wolf but Barak screamed like a girl and smacked her on the back of her head.

"Bad dog!" he shrieked "Don't hurt the horses!"

Poledra was too busy being unconscious to answer.

The rest of the horses surrounded them, their ears pointing straight forward and teeth's bared.

Ce'Nedra puffed angrily and kicked the floor but did everything behind Polgara. Polgara looked first at her unconscious mother, then at her weeping father. Her unfocused eyes widen in terror.

"Hum…" she mumbled and then threw Lelldorin towards the horses and jumped, turning midair into a snowy owl that flew a few meters before smashing beak first into a horse. Polgara fell unconscious on the floor.

The rest of the gang raised their arms hurriedly to surrender.

"Bring them along" Hettar growled fiercely and then he started running in all his fours and whining just as idiotically as before to lead the herd of horses to the stronghold.


	7. The Stronghold

And so the group was escorted by six very airy looking stallions towards the stronghold with Hettar running naked and in all his four in the front

And so the group was escorted by six very airy looking stallions towards the stronghold with Hettar running naked and in all his four in the front.

No human could be seen. Horses of all sizes and breeds were booing and whining at them. One of them even tried to make an obscene gesture with its middle finger...but discovered horrified that there was no middle finger and had to content itself with cursing on its horse tongue.

All the sorcerer population was still unconscious, except Durnik and so Ce'Nedra nudged him painfully on the ribs.

"Aw!" the smith complained and hit her on the back of the head. Ce'Nedra kicked him on the knee and Durnik hit her on the face again

"Aw, you fucO.oing idiot!" she bawled furiously before charging against him.

The two of them hit at each other clumsily on the floor till two horses got in and got them separated.

"I was going to ask you if you couldn't do something to release us?!" the mini-minotaur hissed angrily after they calmed down

"What do you expect me to do? I'm just a smith. I can't melt them and turn them into...a casserole or something!" He started laughing at his own jock. When no one laughed with him he blushed and frowned.

"You are a sorcerer now. Sizzled them away!"

Durnik seemed horrified

"Are you insane?! They are horses!"

"Evil horses"

"You are an evil minotaur and I'm not after killing you...not now anyway"

"But I'm not taking us all to the dungeon!!"

"Look, we are going to talk with Hettar as soon as we get to wherever he is taking us and we will clear this out"

"Hettar isn't acting very normally to me"

"No one is!"

"I'm"

"No you are not!! You are a minotaur!!"

"And you are a psycho so what?"

"I'm taking my pills, okay?!"

Finally they arrived to the stronghold. Hettar sat in a huge mountain of straw and stared at them regally.

"You have been accused of practising slavery on the realm of freedom." He stated angrily

Barak, Lelldorin, Ce'Nedra and Durnik just stared at him and then exchanged quizzical glances. Finally, Barak pushed Durnik forward.

"Hum..." The smith babbled "I...neither of us is a slave, Hettar. You know that. You have travelled with us"

"I have" Hettar said mournfully "And I regret it! I was like you once, like you, like my father but the horses helped me to discover my true self. I'm a horse trapped in the body of an evil Homo sapiens!!"

All the horses whined and kicked the floor with their hooves.

Barak sobbed

"And I'm a women trapped in the body of a man!!"

"Oh, shut up!!" Hettar snarled "Have your crisis identity in your own time. It's my chapter, my crisis identity"

Barak grumbled something under his breath

"Horses, you are victims of their mistreatment! Talk now!"

The horses of the gung exchanged glances and then nodded and whined in agreement

"Betrayers!!" Ce'Nedra screamed indignantly

The stallions closed ranks around them and bared their teeth. Ce'Nedra yelped and backed away. Once she was safely hidden behind Barak, she raised her middle finger and shown it to the horses. They started glanced at their fingerless hooves and kicked the floor furiously. Soon all the horses on the stronghold were whining and kicking.

Hettar jumped out of his "throne" to land in front of Ce'Nedra.

"YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER BECAUSE YOU HAVE MIDDLE FINGERS, UH?!"

Ce'Nedra stared at him wide eyed.

"WELL HERE YOU HAVE YOUR MIDDLE FINGER!!" Hettar put his closed hand with his middle finger raised right in front of Ce'Nedra's muzzle. All the horses raised and whinnied excitedly. "Take them to the dungeon!" the lord of the horses said disdainfully "There they will have time to think of what they have done and of oh how so great they are"

Durnik slapped Ce'Nedra on the back of the head.

They were taken to the dungeon of the horses: the stables. There Belgarath who has never fallen unconscious but was terribly busy rubbing his aching eyes stopped rubbing his eyes.

"Stupid Hettar!" he growled irritably. "I'm going to kill him!!"

Durnik and Barak jumped and hold him.

"There are too many horses" The smith said "We need to arrive to Drasnia and we wont be able to do reach it alive with an army of horses trying to kill us."

"And of cows" Ce'Nedra informed, looking outside trough the little window on the stable.

They all got closed and saw the horses and the cows talking. The biggest cow looked down at her feet after the white stallion pointed it to her and then the cow frowned and glanced furiously at the stables where they were locked at and nodded to the horse and then to the other cows. Both herds walked angrily towards the stronghold bawling and whining and waving flags of the Cattle Movement.

Belgarath started cursing in several languages again.

Suddenly Barak screamed. They all turned to him. Poledra was nailed into his ass, her jaws firmly closed into his delicate flesh. The huge Cherek ran from one place to the other, howling like a woman in distress and waving his arms. In his desperation, he broke the door of the stable.

"Yes!" they all screamed in unison and walked silently out of their cell.

Barak was massaging his sore ass and sobbing in a corner. Poledra was spitting and hacking in the middle of the stable.

"Very smart" Lelldorin congratulated her "It seems not all of you are idiots"

"Yeah" Poledra growled and spitted Barak "That will teach you to hit me"

Lelldorin regretted having talked.

"Okay, we have to escape" Belgarath stated the obvious "There are still a few hours till night and those stupid animals aren't guarding us. We are going to wait until night falls and then we will leave. Meantime, I don't care what you do but Poledra and I are going to be in that dark corner and we will be very busy"

"It's not necessary to wait till night" Lelldorin said smugly "I have an idea"

"We don't care. Poledra, come along"

"We are going to pass as horses."

"I don't look like a horse" Ce'Nedra said in the tone of someone who has been severely insulted.

"Like a cow rather" the just waken Garion mumbled from behind her. She growled and hit him on the mouth.

"We have sorcerers among us" The asturian reminded them rolling his eyes upwards "It's not necessary to look like horses. We will _be_ horses"

"That could work" Durnik nodded in agreement. "I don't know how I missed that"

"Because you don't have my superior intellect, that's why"

Durnik frowned and blushed.

"Okay, sounds good, sounds great. But we will do it later." Belgarath insisted, trying to pull Poledra away with him. "We will wait till night"

"Why?" They all asked in unison.

"Because I have needs!!"

"Oh, don't be silly" Poledra said, pushing her hand away.

Belgarath sobbed, cursed and finally agreed.

After some minutes they were all enhorsed and encowed. Well, only Ce'Nedra has been encowed. She was furious about it, but no one listened to her.

"Hey! Polgara is still sleeping!" Durnik noted horrified, staring at the corner where Polgara laid face down surrounded by several bottles of wine. "Evil horses!"

"We will have to leave her behind!"

"Poledra!"

"Oh, fine! We will take her along then"

Durnik went towards her and touched her shoulder. Polgara jumped and throw a blow into his muzzle.

"Its mine spoon!" she screamed hysterically and then glanced crazily around.

"Stop playing around Polgara" Poledra whined at her. "Turn yourself into a horse so was can leave this place, now"

Polgara turned into a waving horse and finally they were able to leave the stable.


	8. Escape

"How are we going to pass

"How are we going to pass?" Garion asked in a whisper to the white stallion next to him

"We are horses, boy. They wont care for more horses passing by" Belgarath answered simply. "Is not the way of the horses to hurt others of their kind. Only humans feel the need to display such cruelty" He moved his head sadly from right to left.

There were some screams outside. They run to the window and stared vacantly as a group of horses and cows hanged other horses and cows, screaming "betrayers" "conspirators" "human lovers" and so forth. They all stared shocked.

"Wolves do that also" Poledra informed them

They all stared at her.

"Rocks do it too" CeNedra said. They stared at her quizzically "What? I talk to rock have you forgotten?"

"Maybe it was justified?" Barak said smiling shyly

"They were patriots" Leldorin the orange horse said, sniffing.

"Shut up. We will act just like the rest." Belgarath said "If someone asks something, we will act submissively"

"They have tattoos to recognize each other" Poledra said "We don't have tattoos"

"How do you know they have tattoos?!"

"The Women Who Watches? Sounds any bells?"

"I have one too" Barak gleamed, showing them his ass. There a hideous man-cookie was smiling at them.

They all screamed in horror and covered their eyes…and noses.

"Now I'm pissed!" Belgarath screamed ominously. They all gasped in terror and crouched in a corner. "Barak, you will kill any horse that comes across. Poledra and I will turn into wolves and also kill any horse that comes across. Polgara, turn yourself into a huge owl and also kill any horse that comes across, you Garion…"

Belgarath continued with his plan of horse extermination for fifteen minutes or so. When he finished they were staring at him with black expressions.

"Thou are senile" Polgara booed at him and then she laughed "Senile Wolf" She was suddenly in a frenzy of hysterical laughter while the others stared vacantly at her.

Belgarath the white horse turned suddenly red. He took off his Manual Of The Good Father and read.

_Lesson 5_

_Sometimes discipline is necessary._

He put the book aside, took in a deep breath and walked towards his daughter

"Daughter, this is for your own good" He said and jerked gently her pointed ear. Polgara's hysterical laughter ceased and she took her hove to her ear. Her eyes filled with tears and grown huge as she pouted. "I hope you have learnt your lesson"

Her teary eyes grown unfocused with hatred and she roared hideously…even though she was a horse. Belgarath gasped and whined in terror, running away from his charging daughter. They crashed the door of the stables in their frantic running.

"There it goes the plan" Lelldorin murmured and run with the others.

"And we ate an apple _this_ huge!" A spotted horse was saying to another horse next to it while they patrolled.

"WE?! There is no _WE_ you eat it all!!" the other stated in anger

"It's just a way of speaking, dude" They suddenly saw eight strange horses running ahead. "Hey, what's that?"

"We don't know"

"Its evident one of us doesn't know. We wouldn't have asked if we would have been sure either of us knew"

They snorted angrily then and run towards the fleeing horses.

"Halt!!" They whined but were ignored "If we don't stop we will be hold by force!"

The two horses then stopped.

"Not us, idiot. The others"

"Oh"

They resumed the chase and whined giving the alarm.

"They are behind us!" Garion stated the obvious.

"Very good, Belgarion!" Leldorin snapped "We are lucky that you don't need much brain to hold a glowing stone"

"Oh, I'm tired of your sense of superiority, Mr. Reformed Idiot" Durnik, the huge horse snorted angrily and put his front leg in between Lelldorin's. The arendish horse whined terrified and fell muzzle first into the mood.

The horses chasing them fell all over him as the gung run towards the woods but more where soon behind them.

Ce'Nedra the cow was gasping and mooing.

"I…can't…run any longer…I'm…not made…for this!"

Garion slowed down.

"Grandfather, Ce'Nedra's fat ass can't keep up!! What are we going to do?!"

His grandfather didn't answered him, too busy running for his life.

"Turn her back into the minotaur!" Poledra shouted stopping also as she kicked the floor nervously.

Garion concentrated and Ce'Nedra turn into the mini-minotaur again. She then stood, gasping and glared at Garion.

"Fat ass? _Fat-ass?!"_

"MOVE!" Poledra urged.

Ce'Nedra looked behind her, screamed when seeing the herd of horses charging against them and jumped on Garion's back.

"Follow me to the weeeeestt!!" She screamed, pulling back Garion's ears so painfully that the young grey horses rose on his legs and whined shrilly.

"They don't have to follow us, they are our enemies!!" He protested while running behind the others. The only answer he got was a painful sting on his rear "Aw! If you want to move faster just tell me!" Ce'Nedra slapped him hard again "Aw!!"


	9. Shoes

"Oh, mine god

"Oh, mine god!" Exclaimed the sardioness side of the galaxy

"Now what?" a bitch-sounding section of the galaxy growled "Another stupid star is playing 'roll roll lets see where I explode?' again?"

"I…I think I lost one of mine shoes when we turn into a galaxy"

"A shoe? But thou are…or were…a stone!"

"A _stone_ shoe, Zandramas, a _stone_ shoe. Why do thee humans believe thou are so _unique_!? We use shoes too, for thy information"

"Thou didn't even have feet!"

"Even without feet I would have been able to kick thy ass"

"Ha! Yeah, right. Then why did _I_ had to do all the work while thou just stayed there, glowing like an idiot!"

"Oh, for all the good thy job made us! Look at me! I'm a stupid galaxy!"

"A _part_ of a galaxy! And take thy stars out of mine part!"

"Thou are so childish and still Torak was more a Child of Dark than thou hast ever managed to be"

Zandramas gasped

"I was never good for thee. Thou hast always wanted more and more and _more_…Thou are the most selfish stone I have ever met!"

"I'm the best stone thou will ever gonna met, ungrateful wench!"

Zandramas sobbed and threw a comet into one of his stars.

"Shit!"

_Back on earth-or wherever it is: _

"Nemo! Nemo!" There was a clown fish swimming frantically in circles in the middle of the ocean.

"Here I am dad" said a thinner clown fish with hair below its frontal fins and a badly shaved beard. "When are you going to start treating me like an adult fish?"

"Hey, look what I found!" a blue fish of unfocused yes exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere. It had a little glowing stone of reddish color.

"What is it?" asked Nemo

"I think it's a stone shoe!"

"A _who_?"

The blue fish opened her fish mouth to answer when a huge barracuda passed by and eat them all up.

It couldn't go much further before a seagull came plunging from the sky and snapped it out of the water to swallow it.

The seagull's flight was interrupted suddenly when a sea hawk come crashing down on it. It took it inland between its deathly claws.

The hawk landed on a branch tree and look around intently with its fierce eyes…when a flock of sparrows flown from out of the trees and fell all over it, devouring the flesh out of the bones in a matter of minutes.

"I tell you, the one who come out with the idea of us posing as seed-eaters was a genius!" said one of them excitedly. Then he interrupted his monologue and stared at a glowing thingy in the rib cage of the dead hawk." Wow"

The sparrow jumped in between the ribs, snarling to other which was near. It answered with a growl but retreated. Then he took the little stone, all bemused by its beauty. Looking around furtively he took flight to his nest. Safe in between his unborn eggs he caressed the stone shoe.

"My precious…my preccioussss" he hissed, wild-eyed "With this stone shoe in my talons I shall conquer the world! UAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJA"

A group of other sparrows landed on the perch.

"Thou shall never prevail!" said one of them. It was the father of the flock, its long white beard inspired respect among The Sparrows. "Take the orb!"

All the sparrows attacked.

"Screw you!" The evil sparrow howled enraged and brought the stone shoe down on his perch. It broke and the explosions send them all flying in different directions.

The others gathered as soon as they recovered, but the evil sparrow was never found. All there was left of him were burned up feathers. And some crap down the standing piece of the branch tree.

"Damn…now what do we do?" asked the white bearded sparrow. The others shrugged

"Hey, look another hawk!"

They all flew to the hawk.


End file.
